never knew just how much it’d hurt to let go.
maybe that’s the reason why. all this happened so we would learn to let go, experience the pain, grow stronger.
i need strength that i don’t have.
times like this, i wish i had a shoulder to lean on. but there are things in life, and times in life where we all have to walk with no one but God.
all this serves as a good reminder that there’s no one we can depend on except God.
forgive me.
no, i can’t do all this on my own.
it’s all like a whirlwind, i can’t do it, i simply can’t. i am inadequate, i am insufficient, and it’s a fact. i can’t ignore it.
that’s why i’m only human. i’m not God, i can’t do everything.
that’s why i have to learn to ask of the Lord. i can’t do what i’m supposed to do if i don’t ask of Him.
i can’t move on and live life if i don’t pray for the strength to. i can’t handle all that i have to handle if i don’t ask for help.
The Wednesday Letters is a nice book. wonder which funny person donated it to the flea market.
sometimes my best isn’t good enough,
sometimes i need a little more.
that’s why Father has sent me here,
so i could learn to ask of the Lord.
.
once again, i find myself waiting for something that isn’t going to come.
i will stop.
you should too.
no matter how hard anyone tries, regrets will always be regrets. it’s difficult to move on from there.
maybe one day, life will be kind and we may get our second chances.
but till then, i’ll be a strong girl. i’ll be a superhero(:
.
we’re finally experiencing the effects of global warming.
it’s been super super hot lately. and for once, it’s not cos of me.
Cats the musical last night was great.
it has since motivated me to go out and watch all great musicals and operas when they come to Singapore.
still really really annoyed that i miss Phantom of the Opera and Turandot, but i’m sure they’ll come back someday!
in the meantime, i’ll be hoping and PRAYING that they bring Les Miserables here!
watching the 10th anniversary performance on the disc Pan-E lent me… goodness, it really makes this HUGE impact on a person.
.
i’ve been thinking a lot lately.
i remember the last time i saw him. his body was so thin, so frail, yet he still sat so tall in the chair, still so dignified. i remember his big smile when i promised i’d play the piano for him somday, the biggest he had given the whole time we were there.
i know that he was also trying his best not to show his sadness as we left.
yet, for some strange reason, it had never occurred to me that that sight of him might be the last time i’d see him alive.
going through band peoples’ blogs made me really happy all over again.
this whole weekend, all that i can think about is how we got that gold, that euphoria, the relief and that pure, overwhelming joy. i knew we were going to get that gold when we walked off that stage, and once outside the auditorium… that overwhelming joy and atmosphere was just… awesome.
i remember the tears, the great big hugs we gave each other, all the exchanges of ‘good jobs’ and whatnots. i remember how happy Mr Tan looked, how happy everyone looked.
it’s great, knowing that we did people proud. it’s great knowing that we did ourselves proud. it’s great knowing that i had, for once, really done myself proud.
and now, whenever i read band peoples’ blogs, i still feel that overwhelming band spirit that i felt when i was in sec 1, after the seniors’ SYF, where they got a silver. they were upset, it was so clear. but they stayed cheerful, and they cheered each other up. that’s band spirit.
honestly, even if we had gotten a silver, a bronze or a COP, i wouldn’t have given a damn. we worked hard, and we did it together, and i know our performance was simply awesome.
the process was wonderful. tensions may have rose, but we pulled through as a band. we really bonded as a band through this whole journey, and i guess that’s all that matters.
i must say i’m really blessed to be in band. i’m really blessed to be in SC Band.
we may not be the best band in Singapore, but i know for sure that we are a real special, real awesome band that no one can ever find or replace.
i’m really grateful for it.
just realised that it’ll take me forever to thank everyone i want to thank.
so i’ll just cut it short.
SC Band, everyone in it, including new juniors, thanks for being so awesome(:
what can i say?
we worked, we sacrificed, and we deserved every inch of that gold.
i may have screwed up my CA grades, but know what?
no regrets. at all.
in under 24 hours, tears of worry and just changed to tears of pure joy. today’s the first time i see 5 of 6 of my seniors breaking down at the same time.
many many thanks to all of my beloved seniors for all their help! Pan-E, Cheryl Ho, Qingyi, Huda, Peiwen, Alyssa and, of course, Adilah. thanks for the wonderful memory of SYF ‘09. thanks for all of it.
“Band number 66, Singapore Chinese Girls’ School. Gold.”
i’ll never forget it.
